Hello from Cape Charles, VA! 

We’ve spent a lot of time traveling over the past 24 hours, but we’re finally staying in one spot for a couple days (before we continue onwards to Myrtle Beach).

In exciting, not-fun news, I broke either my foot or my toe while we were traveling:

This picture is from just an hour or so after it happened; it doesn’t look (or feel) any better now. I’ve already learned that walking in sand is going to be a major challenge – heck, walking on solid surfaces is hard. I can’t put much weight on it, so I’m not sure what to do. I don’t plan on going to an urgent care center if I can avoid it, though – I’m hoping it’s just the toe and that it starts to feel better tomorrow. 

Well, this vacation has started off with a bang! Wish me luck in not hurting myself further tomorrow!

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Five Things Friday: 08/26/16 Edition


Happy birthday, Taco!

This handsome guy turns 3 today, or 21 in dog years! It’s hard to believe he’s already legal drinking age… seems like just yesterday I was wrapping him up in a towel like a little burrito after his first bath. Sigh… they grow up so fast!

Unfortunately, though I’ll be traveling to casa de Taco y Tank later today, I won’t see either of them. They’re heading to the doggie spa (kennel) in the morning so they can play with their friends for a week while we’re at the beach. I’m kind of sad that I won’t get to see them, but I know they both love going to their daycare/kennel because they get to act like fools and they get crazy amounts of attention. So. I think Taco will enjoy his birthday juuuuust fine without me.🙂

  1. Currently Reading: I gave up on Harry Potter and the Cursed Child pretty much immediately, and it sounds like I’m not the only one. Life is too short to read bad books, so I’m officially “done” with it.

    After I removed HP from my Kindle, I added Room, by Emma Donoghue. It took me most of the week to get into the writing style – I’d read a couple pages, get tired, put it down, and not want to pick it back up again – but I’m finally getting into it. I’m only about 15% through, so I’m optimistic I’ll grow to love it.

    I also have some physical (non-Kindle) books for the beach, in case I have trouble reading with the sun glare. I was aiming for easy reads (“beach reads”), but only time will tell if I’ve succeeded.

  2. Currently Eating: Because it’s really hard for me to see food being thrown out, I snagged some of the “light snacks” from work yesterday for lunch today. The only problem is, I think I grabbed too much… so I either need to freeze some of the goodies, or take them with me to the beach. The freezer is probably the better option, no?

    Speaking of the freezer, my inventory list is officially in maintenance mode for the next couple weeks. I’ve eaten all I can, and now I just have to hope that the neighborhood doesn’t suffer any more major power outages while I’m away. On the plus side, I still have plenty of food for when I get back, so I can’t use the “there’s nothing to eat in here!” excuse…

  3. Currently Craving: I managed to snag a slice of Caliente pizza at Bloomfield’s Little Italy Days after a disaster call on Sunday, so I’m happy to report that I’ve fed the craving without inflicting an entire XL pizza on myself. This is progress .:)

    In bad-timing news, I’m really craving going on a disaster call since I haven’t gone since Monday morning… but since I’m leaving for vacation in a couple hours, I’m done for a couple weeks. I even offered to take an SOD shift or two while I’m at the beach, but the people who were in the room when I mentioned it looked at me like I had three heads and the program manager shut that down immediately. It’s weird – the few times I’ve gone more than a week without a call, I’ve gotten used to it and I learn to not miss it (aside from missing my fellow volunteers). But if it’s only been a few days since my last call, I crave more calls. They turn us into disaster junkies, I tell ya, that’s what they do.

    Also, I could go for some good homemade ice cream. Something tells me I’ll be able to find that at the beach.🙂

  4. Currently Loving: It’s probably really good that I’m going on vacation now, because I’m getting wayyyy too attached to certain volunteers. Like, emailing, texting, and messaging with a few of them at all hours of the day and night. Don’t get me wrong; I love it, and there’s truly nothing else I’d rather be doing… but considering most of these other people have spouses, I have to wonder what their spouses think of this constant flurry of communication going back and forth between us. I’m trying to be more cognizant of this, and I feel like I’m probably driving them crazy sometimes (even if they’re the ones who initiate the conversation), but dangit, I freaking love them. They’re my “chosen family” and it’s going to be hard to be away for more than a week. Something tells me I won’t be completely shut off from communication, though (I hope not).  :)

    Finally, my excitement over television seems to have waned. I blame the fact that the Olympics are over – it doesn’t look like there’s anything worth watching on tv now. And given my unpredictable schedule, I don’t think I’ll be able to commit to watching new episodes of shows in real-time on a regular basis, so I don’t plan on watching any fall previews or anything. Truth be told, I’m very happy I’ve lost my thirst for tv – I was getting worried for a couple weeks! However, since I’ve barely turned the thing on this week, I have no new commercials to share. Merp.

  5. Currently Anticipating: Not working for over a week! I have two weekends off from bartending, plus 6 days (6.5 days, if I can manage to leave when I want to today) from full-time work, and 11 days off from volunteering (which, as we’ve covered, I don’t want to be away from). I haven’t even begun to think about packing yet, which is great since my dad wants me to be at their place by 1pm today. Oops.

    I’m looking forward to checking out a new vacation destination, even though I had no say in the matter – we’re heading to Cape Charles, VA for a couple days before we continue on our journey to our usual home away from home in Myrtle Beach. It kind of looks like the only thing to do in Cape Charles is eat, so I suppose I can muster up some enthusiasm for the place. As for MB, we have our favorites that we return to every year, and try as I might, I can’t get my parents to try any place new. Still, lots of eating will be done, and lots of not-working will be enjoyed.🙂


Have a great weekend, y’all! (<– See what I did there? Getting in the Southern frame of mind already!)


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This was such a wonderful yet weird day. I spent a lot of last night replaying conversations in my mind after a friend/volunteer sent me an email and referenced “Human Vacuum” in the text. It’s not that there’s anything bad on here – I think that’s pretty clear – but there’s a certain awkwardness and unevenness that occurs when you discover someone that you know knows a lot more about you than you know about them. If it’s all out in the open, it’s not such a big deal… but since I normally don’t start conversations with “Hi! My name is Lindsay and I write a blog called Confessions of a Human Vacuum,” it’s always legitimately surprising to me when someone finds it.

This morning, after we continued our email string from last night, I learned that the very first time I went on a call with this person, I must have casually mentioned having a blog and mentioned the nickname Human Vacuum in the span of one disaster call. And it was just my luck that he seems to have an iron-clad memory and he remembered every bit of the conversation. I, on the other hand, was sleep-deprived (like now) and when I get really tired, I ramble talk to keep myself awake. I also tend to forget all of my super-tired conversations immediately, so I had no recollection whatsoever that we had that discussion. When he let me in on how this knowledge came about, I did a literal ::headdesk:: against the bus window… I guess that would be considered a ::headwindow::… I’m so full of awkward.

And you know what happens when you find out someone has known about your blog for 6 months? You go back and dissect everything you’ve ever written. That’s not to say that the person has even read one word of the blog, but still. WHEN WILL I GROW OUT OF THIS AWKWARD PHASE?!

Anyway… moving on.

We had a big end of summer party at work today, which involved copious amounts of bottled beverages and one of the hugest spreads of food I’ve ever seen at work. The invite said “light snacks,” but geez, we had more food there than for Free Lunch Wednesday. It was kind of awesome. And any excuse I get to try new-to-me adult beverages at 1 in the afternoon is considered a win. I opted for a bottle of Not Your Father’s Ginger Ale, which was sweeter than I’d expected. I ended up cutting it with seltzer water about halfway through the bottle, which drew some strange looks from folks.🙂 I also went way crazy on the three ginormous fruit platters, and had my fair share of meatballs, egg rolls, dumplings, and chicken satay. I knew I had a volunteer orientation session after work, so I was happy to know I wouldn’t be hungry in the slightest when I arrived.

… Except I arrived at the orientation and was presented with pizza and sandwiches. Oy vey. When it rains, it pours, no? The session lasted two hours, so I ended up nibbling on a slice of pizza while I was there, and I appreciated the thought. But geesh, when I could use a snack, there’s never any food around. Let’s spread the free food wealth around a little, eh?🙂

Wish me luck with finishing out my on-call shift without incident, maybe getting some sleep, and then packing for vacation while I work tomorrow. Things might get crazy before I leave! But then again, I thrive on crazy.🙂

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Simply Irresistible

Simply Irresistible

I’m on this strange quest to appear more put-together when I go out in public… a quest that’s admittedly long-overdue. The liquid eyeliner was a good start, but then I went a little crazy and added some lipstick into the mix. Not just any lipstick, though – bright red lipstick.

Normally when I’m out, I try to blend in. I’ve gotten so good at it that I’m a gosh darn chameleon now – this is probably why I end up being used as a seat cushion on the bus sometimes, and why people seemingly don’t see me when I’m walking directly towards them. But it’s really hard to hide and blend in when your lips are the brightest shade of red you’ve ever seen (this, coming from someone whose volunteer wardrobe largely consists of bright red).

I have to admit, when I tried it on when I got home last night, I felt silly. Why on earth would I spend money on something that I clearly would never wear? But then I blotted it a little and applied some Carmex to the top, and you know what? It started to grow on me. I still felt like I was in Robert Palmer’s music video for Simply Irresistible, but in a ‘hey, look, I’m not invisible!’ kind of way.

I even wore it to work today, and between the eyeliner and the lips, I barely even recognized myself when I looked in the mirror. It went over well, though, and I noticed I was walking taller (for me) all day. I guess having red hot lips forces you to exude a little more confidence.🙂

So for now, the red lips are going to stay, but temporarily. I don’t plan on bringing much makeup with me to the beach, obviously. But when I get back, I’m going to try to remember what I’ve learned in these little makeup experiments. It’s not that wearing eyeliner and red lipstick gives me more attention (I still hate drawing attention to myself); it’s more that wearing them seems to impart a sense of confidence and competence, which is really what I’m going for.

And after all, confidence and competence really are simply irresistible, no?

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Bend And Snap

Bend And Snap

I am a new woman today, friends. That’s because thanks to my good friend Tylenol PM, I slept for over 9 hours last night. Considering the night before I slept a grand total of 51 minutes (according to Fitbit), 9 hours is monumental.

Speaking of Fitbit, I don’t know what exactly happened during that long, deep sleep, but I woke up with my Fitbit band snapped in half. It hadn’t been showing any signs of weakness, so the loss is a complete surprise to me. I have back-up bands, but I really liked this one. It snapped where the Fitbit tracker “window” is, so it’s irreparable. Thank goodness for Amazon Prime; I’ll have a new band just like the one I lost before we leave for vacation.

Man, I know sleeping a normal amount of hours is healthy and whatnot, but I kind of miss the insomniac-inspired manic energy I had yesterday. I hope I can readjust and be my normal energetic self again tomorrow!

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The Early Bird Gets The Coffee

The Early Bird Gets The Coffee

Today managed to somehow be both fantastic and awful at the same time; I was just a hot mess all day.

It all started last night. I looked at the volunteer schedule to double-check who was on, and saw that I was on with one of my favorite people, the guy I affectionately refer to as “Duuuuude!” I was thrilled, but since we’re usually on Sunday overnights together and that’s usually a quiet shift, I didn’t expect to hear from him. Still, I put my wishes out to the universe, because I really really wanted to hang out with him. I stayed up until 3, thinking we were going to get called. Around 3, I started to get tired… but just a few minutes after that, I simultaneously heard a PulsePoint notification and the fire alarms near my house going off. I checked the location, but it didn’t seem like an incident we’d attend to, so I tried once more to fall asleep. I didn’t get far.

About a half hour after the 3 am-ish alarm, there was another one and another PulsePoint notification. The notification said it was a fire alarm, and not a fire, so I finally let myself go to sleep, thinking we weren’t going to get a call.

Then at around 4:30, my phone rang and it was Dude. We were summoned to a fire near my place – the one that was listed as a fire alarm and not a fire, so I suggested I meet him at a nearby GetGo so I could rest up for a few minutes. I estimate I got about 45 minutes of sleep between the insomnia, the excitement, and the multiple alarms. We arrived at GetGo, and since I was nervous about leaving my car in a busy parking lot and the threat of being towed, we went inside to talk to a cashier who offered to let me park in the employee section. As we were heading out, she called after us and told us to take some coffee. “We love and appreciate first responders,” she called out after us. We let her know we’re not really first responders, but she insisted we are… so we grabbed some coffee, thanked her, and headed on our way.

The call didn’t last long, and it was one of the easiest calls I’ve ever been on, but I still didn’t get home until about 6:30. At that point, I’d already had coffee and it was too light outside for me to even attempt sleep… so I just stayed up and started work early. To be fair, I got a TON done today, and I even managed to do some cleaning. Also listed among my accomplishments for the day: updated new volunteer documents to include info on logging hours, told two different volunteers sincerely that I love them (“No, really, I like, REALLY love you guys”), and potentially got set up on a blind date. Plus, you know, work stuff.

I was so out of it by the time that I hit the gym that I was confused when I saw this:

Yeah, no water in the pools. Not a drop. And I only noticed it after I lugged all my swim gear with me. It’s my own fault – the gym was refreshingly transparent about the pools being closed this week, but in my delirious state, I forgot.

Hopefully there won’t be any more mishaps tonight, and with luck, I’ll stop telling random people that I love them. At least we know I’m a very loving insomniac. I think tonight might be a Tylenol PM night, just so I can be sure I catch up on a few zzz’s… based on my behavior, I think I might be a little deficient.🙂

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