The Plague of Humanity

The Plague of Humanity

This pizza was both what I wanted and not what I wanted, all at the same time.

I planned my first post-snow day back in society around one thing: grabbing a pizza from Caliente’s in Bloomfield. The memory of their sauce, their cheesy breadsticks, and their Sunday special (buy a large or XL pizza and get 4 toppings free) beckoned to me and drove me to plan my entire afternoon around ending up there. So I mapped it out and decided my best course of action was Walmart -> Costco -> Gym -> Pizza. That shouldn’t be too difficult to achieve, right?

Well, it could have worked out, but I got a little annoyed with the world and a little lazy with the condition of the side streets, and it didn’t really happen like I’d planned. I managed to hit up Walmart for milk, Costco for garlic, and then the gym in Squirrel Hill, but people were just complete jerks on the road today. I mean, I get it – you spent all day inside yesterday, so today you want to be freeeeee! So do I. But I’d like to make it home alive, thankyouverymuch. The way I see it is, if the temperature is 24 degrees and there is water and slush all over the roads, there’s a very good chance the roads are slippery and you should drive with a bit of caution. I’m not talking 20 miles below the speed limit; I’m talking drive within 5 miles either way of the speed limit, and that’s what I did. But the jagoffs around here in their big trucks and their 4WD (lot of good that’ll do you on ice, jerkfaces) were just going nuts. At one point, I was doing 40 in a 35 and a guy in a big white pickup truck was on my butt, laying on his horn as I was heading downhill towards a stop sign. OMGWTFBBQ?! Sorry, dude, I’m not risking my life so you can get somewhere a few seconds faster. What a turd.

By the time I made it to the gym, I was a little disenchanted with the human race. And then someone stole a parking space from me (I was sitting there with my turn signal on, waiting for oncoming traffic to pass by in the otherwise full garage when some toolbag coming in the opposite direction whipped into the spot I was trying to get into. I hope he can read lips.), so I had to park a few blocks away even though I’d planned on swimming and my hair would be wet when I left. Parking on the street was a challenge since the side streets were barely plowed. I was just having a heck of a day.

When I left the gym, I was very much looking forward to my pizza, but completely dreading both the drive to Bloomfield and the parking situation there – parking is always a chore in Bloomfield, and it’s even worse when it has snowed. So I made a quick decision – instead of going to Caliente, I’d try a new-to-me place in Squirrel Hill. That meant I didn’t have to worry about driving out of my way, nor did I have to worry about parking again. Winner, winner. So I went to Pastoli’s and decided to try their pizza and their pepperoni rolls.

The verdict on Pastoli’s: nice, clean place, decent pizza, decent pepperoni rolls, but more expensive than Caliente and not as good. Then again, I’m pretty much in love with Caliente, so I’m biased. I’d totally go to Pastoli’s again, especially in another situation like today’s, but given a choice between them and Caliente, Caliente will always win.

On the plus side, I have even more food to add to my collection in the fridge, and cold pizza is just as tasty as hot pizza. Also a plus: I’m home and I don’t have to worry about dealing with people until tomorrow morning at the earliest, and even then I won’t have to if I don’t want to. Yesterday’s sangria might not last as long as I thought it would…



About Lindsay

I'm a Burgher who loves trying new foods and activities. I also seem to love getting myself into trouble. Basically, I'm a trainwreck waiting to happen. :)
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5 Responses to The Plague of Humanity

  1. maryaquino says:

    OMGWTFBBQ? Oh My God What The F#ck Bar-B-Que? Definitely made me LOL…


  2. Nothing Personal says:

    I can’t believe someone swooped in and took your spot. That’s like an unwritten rule.

    Liked by 1 person

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