Mystery Meat

Mystery Meat

I decided to pay my respects to the gorgeous day and went for not just one, but two walks outside today. The first was just from my house to the bank to deposit my tips from Saturday, and then back up the giant hill leading to my house. That was the quickie at lunchtime. Then I decided to hang out in my favorite neighborhood in the evening. The second walk was more run/walk, but wayyyy longer.

I parked at the gym and then started making my way through Squirrel Hill. On my way to the cemetery, I saw this, which is an almost-exact replica of one that I saw in Portland:

Eventually, I reached the Dallas St entrance of the cemetery, where I snapped the first picture in this post. It may not look that out of the ordinary, but surely someone else has to think that it’s a little strange to have a grill set up right outside of the main office to the cemetery. Like, what are you cooking in that thing? Where is that meat coming from? WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE BODIES?

Undeterred, I continued onwards. This was my first cemetery walk in ages where it was still light outside, so it was much less creepy than my previous journeys. I saw a family(?) of deer…

And then a gaggle of wild crazypants turkeys…

And then the thing that made me laugh the hardest…

I call that one “He Is Risen,” because there’s a random article of clothing in front of some guy’s grave. It’s like he was Jesus, no? I laughed pretty hard. It really takes very little to amuse me.

I wasn’t LOLing for long, though. The next thing you know, I came across this, which scared the crap out of me:

I legitimately thought it was an emo kid hanging out on a grave. Now the cemetery’s just screwing with me in broad daylight.

As usual, things got a little… “weird”… the longer I walked around. First, I got lost. Over and over. Drop me at any random spot in this cemetery in the middle of the night, and I can make my way out within about 15 minutes. Allow me to wander around during daylight hours, and I will get lost about seven times, which meant that this walk was about an hour longer than I’d planned on it being.

Another reason why things got weird is that I started noticing some things about a bunch of the older graves. There were holes dug out around them.

The walking dead, indeed.

There’s an uncomfortable amount of graves that look like this. Some have holes dug out all around them, which really makes me think twice about that grill I saw at the office.

Eventually, I found my way out of the cemetery and continued on my planned route. Point Breeze – Homewood – Squirrel Hill, and then back to the gym for 50 laps in the pool.

Next time I hit up the cemetery, I’ll try to go at night so at least I can make it out in a reasonable amount of time. In the meantime, I’ll be avoiding meals hosted by anyone who works at the cemetery. 😉


About Lindsay

I'm a Burgher who loves trying new foods and activities. I also seem to love getting myself into trouble. Basically, I'm a trainwreck waiting to happen. :)
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4 Responses to Mystery Meat

  1. Nothing Personal says:

    What’s that old saying: You can’t win ghost friends with salad. That might explain the grill.


  2. maryaquino says:

    Creatures! That makes sense!!


  3. maryaquino says:

    Jus thinkin…..maybe the ground has settled and thus holes have “erupted” around old graves.

    Or, mystery meat and the Walking Dead.


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