[Excuse the post-gym hair/lack of makeup/goober-face]
Fact: If you don’t want it to rain, it will rain.
Fact: If you buy a sweet new rain jacket and want to test it out, you will not see any significant rain for the rest of your life (or at least all week). Even with flash flood warnings and thunderstorm warnings, you will somehow defy physics and avoid every single raindrop that falls from the sky. This will make you sad, and you will take silly little pictures of yourself in your completely dry rain jacket, making pitiful pouting faces.
Fact: All I need is to put some goggles and jean overalls on, and I’m a certified minion.
(I kind of like that last one. :))