There was a point in the day today where I legitimately thought I was having a heart attack. In all reality, it was likely just a minor panic attack, but it was intense enough for me to proclaim to someone, “Having heart attack. Probably dead before meeting tonight. Good luck.” Clearly, I’m still alive, so panic attack it is! I’m sure I’ll be just fine. I decided to forego the park & ride lot today and instead parked on a side street off of the big hill that goes up to my house, so I had to climb part of a ginormous hill this afternoon… surprised that didn’t kill me after the stressful day I had.
The reason for the panic attack was a certain interview that was scheduled for 4pm. I normally don’t stress out too much for interviews, simply because I know I’ll be okay if I don’t get the job, and I feel like the interviewers should see the real you and not the presumptuous version that you aspire to be. All of that was still true for this one, but with one notable difference – the job in question is completely outside the realm of any job I’ve ever held before. It would mean a complete life overhaul, and for some reason I seem to want this more than any job ever before (nevermind the fact that I adore the company that I work for now). I knew one of the interviewers, and once upon a time I did a special side project for another. I had only heard that the two of them were attending the interview (conducted via phone), but when I got on the phone I discovered that there were three more and I’d never met them before. Oddly enough, having more people attend sort of legitimatized the process for me – before today, I had the sneaking suspicion that maybe I was just being given a courtesy interview because people know me and I was recommended for the job, but now I don’t think that anymore.
For what it’s worth, the interview went pretty darn well. I prepped obsessively; I did weeks (literally – weeks) worth of research on what the job entails and the area in which it’s located, etc. I’ve also been picking someone’s brain who has a similar job and I’ve gotten a lot of good info, so I was extra-super prepared. Too prepared, actually, because I’ve pretty much already started laying the groundwork for what I want to do if I get the job and it was hard for me to zoom out to a broader interview scope. To put it in perspective, it’s as though I was interviewing for a chef position, and instead of being prepared to talk about my experience working in restaurants over the past 18 years, I was prepared to discuss culinary trends, the changes I’d like to make to the menu, and the great idea I have for chef-cooked potluck dinners in conjunction with other well-known chefs in the region. (<– I assume this is clear, but I’m not really interviewing to become a chef.)
Other than the fact that I couldn’t for the life of me think of three interview-appropriate things I’d like to change about myself (I can think of a million, but most aren’t appropriate for trying to get people like me enough to give me a job), the whole thing went really well and I kind of have a great feeling about it. I remember getting off the phone in the office I’d hijacked and I just sat there when it was over, thinking, “OMG. This is really happening.” So. Take that as you will.
My enthusiasm balloon was deflated just a teensy bit when I met up with a friend for a drink after our evening meeting. Other than the person who recommended me for the position, I’ve only told one other person; I’m keeping the specifics of the job very close to the vest. Tonight I added one more to the list, but the reaction wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. I’d hoped for a “Hey! That’s awesome, you’ll be great at that!” Instead, what I got was a lukewarm, “Well, if that’s what you want to do with your life…” Kind of dampened the mood a little. 😉 But, it was good because it brought me back down to earth. I’m trying not to get too excited, just in case I’m reading all the signals wrong – anything is possible, right?
Anyway, my brain and my body feel like mush right now, simply because I was a little stress ball all day long. Now that the hard part is over (until next week or the week after, potentially), I’m just pooped. Thank goodness I plan on working from home tomorrow – I think I might just sleep in a bit to allow myself to recuperate. I sure do need it after today! 🙂