One of the first emails I saw this morning was the free birthday drink email from Starbucks, so I made that priority #1 today. Last year or the year before, I got the email and didn’t realize there was an expiration date on the offer, so I missed out. I wasn’t gonna let that happen this year. So I dragged my butt out of bed and drove to my nearest store so I could grab the most obnoxious drink I could dream up – a venti latte with 2 pumps of light mocha sauce, 2 pumps of hazelnut syrup, 5 shots of espresso, coconut milk, whipped cream, mocha drizzle, caramel drizzle, and chocolate powder. Granted, because of all the espresso and sugar, I only drank about 1/4 of it and stuck the rest in the fridge, but now I have deliciousness for the rest of the weekend.
When I got home, I worked on my one non-work job of the day – cutting the grass. While I was mowing, I got to thinking about fantasy birthday gifts. I decided this is my ideal birthday gift to receive: I leave the house and someone comes and cuts the grass, wacks the weeds, and trims the hedges, and then they drop off general tso’s chicken and an ice cream cake (in a cooler) before leaving. When I arrive home from wherever I went, my yard is immaculate and I have dinner and dessert waiting for me, without the hassle of dealing with any humans. I realize most people’s fantasies are a bit more elaborate (and probably sexier) than this, but this scenario is my dream birthday gift. And it’s cheap, to boot! Heck, I’d even leave behind my credit card to pay for the Chinese food and the ice cream cake, and my tools are readily available for the labor portion; I really just want someone to do the dreaded yard work, bring me food, and then leave. Can we make this happen someday, world? Maybe next weekend?
Dream time is over now, though, and it’s off to real work for me. Happy Saturday, kids.